Download zip file

BREAKFAST RUN TO THE SPRINGBOK BAR, PRETORIA
SUNDAY 14th February 2010

If you were hoping to read about the “We Ride In Any Weather” souls who braved the bad weather on Sunday and went on a wonderful long breakfast run all the way to The Springbok Bar (previously known as The Foundry Fly on the M10 near Silver Lakes) in Pretoria – you are going to be disappointed.  A decision was taken at the dealership, after reports had been received about really bad weather at that end of the N1, to abandon the Breakfast Run.  The few intrepid souls who turned up to ride left after savouring piping hot coffee kindly on tap by Fanie - and went to have breakfast somewhere in Rivonia. 

I can tell you what happened on Saturday evening though:

My wonderful and caring husband, Geoff, booked me in for what was supposed to be a very romantic evening at Kai Thai.  Unfortunately instead of booking for an aromatherapy massage (which is soothing, sensual and soft) – he booked for a traditional Thai Massage.  Anyone who has ever been for one of these will relate to my anguished expression today.  Let me explain ...

A Thai massage is like visiting a chiropractor and a reflexologist for an agonizing hour long session of deep muscle and bone jarring and cracking therapy. 

As my luck would have it whilst savouring the sweet and soothing smells of the Thai rose and sandalwood oils, gazing at the little tea lights and beautiful potted orchids everywhere, enjoying the serene expression on the reclining buddha’s face, enjoying the cooling overhead fans and the wonderful soft mattress, and trying to figure out how to tie the Thai pyjama cotton outfit you are supposed to wear, I was quite overcome with the wonderful ambience of it all.  But then - in walked my masseuse. 

No petite little Thai lady for me.  I got the Suma Wrestler.  OMG!  He walked on my spine, cracked every bone in my body, twisted me like a piece of plasticene into shapes I couldn’t even describe to you, stretched, pulled and pummeled me into a boneless piece of dough.  Today I feel as if I have been hit by a bus after playing rugby with Jomo Lomo AND the whole team of All Blacks. 

Like most Japanese folk, the Thai’s cannot pronounce their “L’s” either – so I was “Reen” for the hour long session.  All the time he seemed determined to make me 3 inches taller.  Every now and then he would ask in a squeaky voice – “Hey Reen, you okay?” But he never waited for the answer, instead bending me unceremoniously into another impossible position with my head squashed into the pillow, or under my a@#se so I could not answer. 

At this stage I was either going very red in the face or had actually stopped breathing altogether.  Another slap on the back, his feet pushing my dazed and unwilling torso away from him, he persisted in pulling my head and shoulders towards him which had me making goldfish faces with huge, bulging eyes.  I could not believe how good it felt when he stopped and the session was over.  I was then given a glass of cold rose water to drink – what were they thinking?  A bottle of Jack would have done the trick a lot better.  I needed a Zimmerman frame to walk out of that Spa. 

So much for the romantic dinner Geoff had planned.  I ordered off the menu and then my muscles decided all at the same time to collapse and I almost fell asleep with my head in a bowl of chicken and coconut soup.  I think I thanked Geoff when we got home – but I can’t remember. 

Well, let’s hope the weather has improved by next Sunday.  I think I should be able to move around normally again by then.

Ride hard and ride safe folks.
Lyn

PS:  The people in hell – where do they tell people to go?